walking socks

(image from Sandra Juto)

Ah good morning. I was up at 530am. Really. I kept dreaming that I was surrounded by plants and was to find things. So enough of that - up I got. I am just having coffee. And thinking of my walking socks. They are not socks that walk by themselves but rather socks that I intend to walk in ;). They are thick and short and I can't wait to find runners to go with them. I need to walk.

Do you ever find that your image of yourself doesn't necessarily match what you really look like? I can see being 80 and feeling 19 and then looking in the mirror and thinking: who is that old person? It must be so like that. Not that you won't feel 80 (ha) but heavens!

I am a rounder person. To live in a rounder body I think you need some sort of denial mechanism or else one would constantly be hard on oneself. This brings me to what I really look like. I'll go for a shop and try things on and think: what? Who are you - this isn't my body. I mean it is not like I am trying on clothes way too small thinking that is what size Iam......but stretch tops over lumps et bumps? Um, no. Stretch is nice but not if you look 'saran wrapped'. A sure sign of spring - discontent with one's body after hibernating all winter (here anyway).

I like to be rounder and curvier. And since working at the Greenhouse I am more in shape and that has me craving more of this in-shape-ness - so walking socks! I think it will also be a good way to let off steam and stress. I have just never been one to use my body in that athletic way - I do love to when I do (as long as I'm not in a swimsuit). It is the 'revealing' of one's body that has me uncomfortable. I was way too self-conscious growing up. Felt like something was 'wrong' with me and so didn't gravitate to things that would 'reveal' my body - o, after grade 7 for sure. Grade 7 and 8 - boy those are doozies. The school of real-hard-knocks.

So that is on my mind this morning. I ground some coffee beans into coffee (sorry huzzy - we were right out and it's time for you to get up anyway ;) ) Had a couple scrambled eggs and toast. Made my lunch for work. Now onto my daily ritual of emailing and computer farting around. Have a lovely day dear lovies.